In what can only be described as a moment that truly defines modern sports entertainment, the WNBA — yes, that league — has finally gone viral. Not for a buzzer-beater. Not for a highlight-reel dunk. But for… flying sex toys.
That’s right. In a bold, rubbery twist of fate, several recent WNBA games have been interrupted by airborne neon dildos, and honestly, it might be the most attention the league has ever received. And while pearl-clutching fans are firing up their X (formerly Twitter) accounts to scream into the void about “hate” and “children,” we’re here to talk about the real story: the WNBA’s decades-long struggle to stay relevant, and how a $12 novelty toy may have done more for the league’s exposure than a decade of marketing campaigns.
A League of Their Loan
Let’s not kid ourselves. The WNBA is in a tailspin — and not the sexy kind. Nationally televised games are down 55%. That’s not a typo. It’s not a glitch in the Matrix. That’s a freefall, not a decline. And despite all the buzzwords about “growth,” “expansion,” and “trailblazing,” the WNBA has never — let me repeat — never had a profitable year.
In fact, the league’s 2024 season capped off with a sweet little $50 million loss. Even with increased revenue. It’s like watching someone sell Girl Scout cookies door-to-door while bleeding cash from every orifice. And who’s footing the bill? That’s right — big brother NBA, whose players make more per quarter than some WNBA teams generate in a month.
So naturally, when a flying phallus hits the hardwood, people notice.
Outrage! Or… Not Really?
Cue the think pieces, the X threads, the fragile egos. One user cried, “This isn’t happening in any other sport! This is hate!” Ah yes, because if there’s one thing that truly motivates the average dildo-chucker, it’s deep-seated misogyny… not the absurdity of a green rubber sausage tumbling mid-air like it’s in a R-rated version of Angry Birds.
And let’s be honest — even Sophie Cunningham, one of the players who nearly caught the rogue object like a bouquet at a bachelorette party, was laughing as she walked off the court. Laughing. The horror!
Another user posted, “The fact kids are at this game… I have no issue with these people being charged with a lewd act.” Right, because a kid might recognize what a floppy lime-colored adult toy is? If a 9-year-old knows exactly what that is, maybe it’s not the chucker that’s the problem. Maybe it’s parental controls that need an update.
Yes, Some Moments Deserve Outrage
Now to be fair — and yes, we can be fair — the most recent incident involved a 9-year-old girl getting struck by a tossed toy. That’s not funny. That’s not edgy. That’s stupid, dangerous, and deserves prosecution.
But a rubber object landing on the court with no harm done? Stop acting like the Four Horsemen just rode into the arena.
Welcome to the Big Leagues
Let’s take a stroll down memory lane:
- NFL: Beer bottles thrown at players. Fans streaking across the field. No one’s tweeting “hate crime” when a naked dude does a cartwheel in front of the end zone.
- NBA: Popcorn dumped on players. Water bottles launched. One fan spit on Trae Young. But throw a sex toy in a WNBA game and suddenly society is collapsing.
- MLB: Fistfights on the mound.
- NHL: Literal sanctioned assault with blades strapped to their feet.
The point is — this is sports. It’s messy. It’s weird. Sometimes it’s violent. And every now and then, a green dildo makes an appearance like a rogue Pokémon. It doesn’t mean people hate the league or the players.
The Bottom Line
If the biggest scandal your sport has is a plastic penis doing a half-spin on the court, you’re probably still not drawing enough attention. But here’s the thing: people are finally talking. People are sharing clips. Hell, people are laughing.
So to the WNBA, maybe it’s time to lean in. Slap a logo on it. Sell “Cunningham Catcher” souvenir dildos at the concession stand. At least then you might make a profit.
Because if your biggest PR spike in years came from an airborne adult novelty item, maybe, just maybe… the problem isn’t the dildo – it’s the league.








Leave a comment